For me the worst losses are of loved ones because I never get over loving people and pets. I always think of them and always miss them no matter why we are parted. On the other hand, they are always with me in memory and I have spent time with some awesome people.
My Irish Wolfhound Rufus taught me to live life full out every day then roll over and luxuriate in sleep when I’m tired. He died before his first birthday from bones disintegrating because of inbreeding. Who rescued who?
I value skills over dollars and everywhere I look I see things I created. My pickup leaves here with essential tools to create: paintings, drawings, scultptures, sewing, quilting, knitting, crocheting, jewelrymaking, garden tools, seeds, hand tools, food processing tools, herbs and the ability to store them. I would have more tools and skills: spinning, weaving, beehives and whatever I make up next.
I create things willy nilly no matter where I am and I never stop creating more stuff. I want a home base so bad it is an ache. If not here, then another place.
I had an okay career that locked me into big cities that I disliked. Is my property the be all and end all? Of course not. It is 100 times better than living in Dallas or Seattle in middle class homes. The losses (2008 crash) in Dallas and Seattle brought me here to something 100 times better.
If this dream is burned to the ground by the Dog Head Forest Fire, with no recovery possible, then something 100 times better.
I can do some wild and wonderful thing like live in the glorious Rocky Mountains closer to my son and grandchildren. I could move to the wilds of Alaska and build a homestead near my sister and her boys. I could move to the tropics, learn a new language, and make an amazing tropical garden. I am limited by money but not by possibilities.
I do not want this dream burned to the ground. If it is, it will not be with me, Little Guy, or the 3 girls inside.