Had a nice conversation with my son, they recently bought a business and are running it together. They also have two children (my cuties) and are going and blowing. I remember the excitement! I remember the exhaustion. It is a big experience.
In 1996 my life was no longer bound by family obligations… and instead of grieving I started thinking about what I wanted for me. I have been making small shifts toward that ever since.
I sold my 4000 square foot home on a half acre in Texas. Several bumps later I have an 840 square foot trailerstead on 5 acres of Food Forest in Santa Fe County, New Mexico. All bumps have been tied to 1) gardening and outdoors, and 2) my market economy job. I am approaching another bump called… retirement.
My son is encouraging me to move toward retirement even as I continue to work. Now my shortlist looks like 1) gardening and outdoors, and 2) whatever! I will no longer be tied by the market economy in the same way. Another loss with an opportunity to downshift to a lovelier life.
So I will spend this winter dreaming about how that might look and dreaming about wild roses, Silver Buffalo-berry, Russian Sage, bear, deer, rabbits, and snow.